i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
