Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
im six kinds of drunk right now
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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