You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
