I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
