Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
