Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
