what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
