i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
