Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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