please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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