I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
