I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you win again, gameday.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
