Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
