hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
