Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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