I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
