areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
she woke up with a sticky ear
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Randomize
