You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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