there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He did a backflip because drugs
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