I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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