Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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