someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
