The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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