1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
and i looked up. we had an audience...
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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