i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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