So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
you made out with another girl for some wings
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