I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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