dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have aggressive nipples.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
