I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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