Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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