would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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