is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I stole a fireplace last night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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