The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
