nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
