U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
