she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
