Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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