About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
