Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
