did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
