I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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