dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
