New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
