Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Four minutes until I can fart!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
