My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
