After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
