You're my little dorito
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
