it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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