Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
