am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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