plz talk dirty to me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
