I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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