you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
